You know when you're so far down a hole you dont know whether to stop digging or carry on and hope an exit makes itself clear to you well i've been in that situation for more years than i care to remember. It sounds almost mindless to say this but i've lost count of the days, weeks, months where i 'd persue an idea waste a heap of money and time pack the tools up back into the van and go "well that was a fucking waste of time" and go back to work the next day.
More recently (and more troubling) when you have no work to go to the next day, thats when you start to overthink the failures, the money you couldn't afford to waste yet wasted it, that's when the breathing gets shallower and the pulse starts to race.
Its that inevitable feeling you are actually watching your life fly past you as you stand at your workbench in a boiling hot shed asking yourself wtf am i doing this for anymore.
Well today i finally got what i can only describe as the smallest hint of a rough direction of where i should be digging, its come after several weekends making, scribing and test-fitting the saloon modules.
You'll recall the effort i've gone to to get ply to bend to my will, but i found in the process - and maybe it was the fact i got a bit caught up in solving the problem - that you lose a bit of the reason for why or what you're doing it for in the first place - perspective that's it.
It was only when i stood back in the cockpit and looked into the saloon that i suddenly got what the recent struggles were all about. The basic modules are in place and look fantastic, i mean theres heaps of finishing to do to them but it all looks so cool in there - was definately worth the grief.
