You know when you're so far down a hole you dont know whether to stop digging or carry on and hope an exit makes itself clear to you well i've been in that situation for more years than i care to remember. It sounds almost mindless to say this but i've lost count of the days, weeks, months where i 'd persue an idea waste a heap of money and time pack the tools up back into the van and go "well that was a fucking waste of time" and go back to work the next day.
More recently (and more troubling) when you have no work to go to the next day, thats when you start to overthink the failures, the money you couldn't afford to waste yet wasted it, that's when the breathing gets shallower and the pulse starts to race.
Its that inevitable feeling you are actually watching your life fly past you as you stand at your workbench in a boiling hot shed asking yourself wtf am i doing this for anymore.
Well today i finally got what i can only describe as the smallest hint of a rough direction of where i should be digging, its come after several weekends making, scribing and test-fitting the saloon modules.
You'll recall the effort i've gone to to get ply to bend to my will, but i found in the process - and maybe it was the fact i got a bit caught up in solving the problem - that you lose a bit of the reason for why or what you're doing it for in the first place - perspective that's it.
It was only when i stood back in the cockpit and looked into the saloon that i suddenly got what the recent struggles were all about. The basic modules are in place and look fantastic, i mean theres heaps of finishing to do to them but it all looks so cool in there - was definately worth the grief.
Roger, I agree, the curves and overall look is fantastic. A lot of grief and energy, but we can really see how it is going to turn out. The problem could be that everyone will want you to build it for them as well! Atb Stuart
ReplyDeleteHeres hoping Stuart.
ReplyDeleteCome on Roger, the darkest hour has passed, you'll get there
ReplyDeleteGood work once again Roger. I am deep in the bad place just now as every way I turn there are obstacles of one sort or another. I took time out to help some friends today as they have an oak floor that was pushed up in the hall between two doors. The peak had lifted about three inches. Their 'joiner' was saying that he wasn't sure why but it may be down to not enough gap to allow for expansion. That was cobblers. The boards were laid lengthwise from the front of the house to the back. My answer was that as there was no expansion allowed at each of the two doors the weight of wood was stopping any movement. I cut a 10mm length at one of the doors which could covered by a joiner piece. The result was obvious nd the floor lay almost flat. My pal is going to do the other door and I reckon that will fix the problem once and formal. The main thing to come out of this is a boost to my confidence and maybe I good kick up the ass to get meowing forward agaiNow. only time will tell.
ReplyDeleteI have only just come to this blog and have now read the whole story. I think it is remarkable what you have achieved thus far.
ReplyDeleteAs a non involved observer, I can well understand the highs and lows of this project BUT you are doing such an excellent job AND are over the worst- in terms of progress towards completion.
Keep up the good work and keep the faith. :-)
Hope so, just a question of time and money.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a proper nightmare there Derek, i'm glad its given you the impetus on your own project, hows yer house renovation going? Must be somewhere close now.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Hi Norman cheers for taking the time, yes its gone on a wee bit, but now its a case of finding the final 15K to finish and then i'll be somewhere close, currently working in surrey Mon to Fri and going like a dingbat on the weekends, have just got in from the shed now.
ReplyDeleteI think when the 60 ton crane is parked in the road out side ready for the lift over only then will i believe its over.
Watch this space.
The house is coming along on. I am finishing up bits and piecesand we are going to clear out the back room downstairs and set it up so we can do painting and varnishing for all the boat bits that are waiting to go in. I need to have a major shed clearance before I can restart down there but April should see that started.
ReplyDeleteRoger,
ReplyDeleteLife does pull us in many different directions, and there is no such thing as "extra money" (not that I've experienced). You're recent moment of norvonia reminds me of something we said in the 80's, "everything is the moment and the moment is everything".
Keep up with the great work!